Just a thought: How to handle the drama in your life


“I don’t need all of your drama!” Why would a person say this? Is there someone you think of when you read this line? Would you like more or less drama in your life tomorrow?

Do you know a drama queen? Have you ever stopped and ask the question, “Why is there so much drama in his or her life?” There are people out there who just attract drama. They are drama magnets. Drama just follows them around. Their life is a roller coaster ride with highs followed by lows. Their existence is off balance and unstable.

Maybe others call you a drama queen. Do you ever ask yourself “Why do I have so much drama in my life?”

There will always be drama in this world. Drama exists everywhere. It is preprogrammed into people. Accept this. A little drama may create some color in your life, but a lot of drama may keep you off balance and hinder your ability to accomplish what you need to be accomplishing. The more drama a person has in their life, the less a person is able to focus on things of importance.

Drama can be an attention getting mechanism. Usually it is results in negative attention rather than positive. Some drama is created by someone looking for extra attention. Sometimes drama occurs externally and comes into your life. Sometimes drama arises out of boredom or jealousy.

Drama often comes from making a molehill into a mountain. It is a result of exaggeration. Little things become big. An event that could be passed off as unimportant becomes a major obstacle. Drama is using a magnifying glass on something small. If every simple decision is treated like a life or death decision, you will die many times.

Some people thrive off drama while others run from it. There are professionals who make a living off handling the drama of others.

Now I will admit that drama can keep a life from being boring. Some people watch soap opera programs or reality television to vicariously add drama to their lives. In these situations we live the drama of others and then we can turn the television off.

Yet real life drama can hurt others. Drama can include an element of gossip. Drama can backstab. It can create malice. It can betray friends. Drama can create rumors. It can be repetitive and even rob you of your joy.

Drama runs rampant in social media. How much drama is posted on Facebook or Instagram? When I hear of someone closing their account I feel they are making a statement that the drama being posted in these apps is of less value to them than the benefits.

Drama can be gender related. Do men or women generally have more drama? Is drama age related? Do junior high girls have more drama than junior high boys? Does a four year old have more drama than a 22 year old?

If you have said recently “I don’t need all of your drama” maybe now is the time to take some action. If you can identify the drama that touches your world you can begin to figure out how to handle it. You can be intentional about your world.

How should we handle drama? If you are the one who is creating the drama, ask yourself why you do so. If it is a cry out to others to “Look at me,” then ask yourself “Do others really care about my drama?” If the drama is coming from another, how should you handle this? First you need to filter it. Some drama needs attention. If it really is a “cry for help,” maybe come along side the person and help him or her through their valley. I hope you make the right decision on this threshold question.

If the drama is unnecessary, don’t validate it. Don’t let it rock your world. Is it worthy of spending time on it? Stay out of the drama zone. State to the person that life is too short to make everything a big deal. Maybe choose not to engage. Respectfully change the subject, point them in another direction. Seek to get them to focus on what is going right, not the drama they are wrapped up in. Worst case, if they still don’t get it, confront them head on.

So what would be the opposite of drama? One word I would use is edification, lifting others up. Being focused without distractions on global positives rather than insignificant distractions.

My challenge to you today is to do a global assessment of the drama that impacts your life. Begin by looking inward at yourself and how much drama you create. If you really want to know if you create substantial drama, ask those you interact regularly with to honestly tell you if you bring drama into their lives.

Then think of others who bring drama into your life. Filter your response to their drama as addressed above and if the drama in your life is robbing you or others of joy, then see if you can figure out a loving way to end or reduce the drama.

Life is too short to waste a lot of effort on issues that really don’t need attention, but can drain our time and energy. There is a world out there than needs good things to happen in it. It needs what you have to offer.

Think about these things. Keep small things small things and use your time to make changes that accomplish what you need to be accomplishing.

Just a thought...

Rick Kraft is a motivational speaker, a syndicated columnist, a published author, and an attorney. To submit comments, contributions, or ideas, e-mail to rkraft@kraftlawfirm.orgmailto:thekraftlawfirm@aol.com or write to P.O. Box 850, Roswell, New Mexico, 88202 - 0850.


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