The front page headline on August 26, 1949 of the Ashland Times-Gazette (Ashland, Ohio) read, “Bowmans, Married for 70 Years, Attend Brethren Conference.” The article began by talking about how living seventy years is not that unheard of, but being married for 70 years is rare. The article stated it is “not so long for two people to live together if they are devoted to each other and the work of the Lord.”
The article was about my great grandparents. I just happened to come across this article while I was sorting through some old records. I had never known they were married for 70 years.
My great grandparents married in 1879 when they were 16 and 17 years old. The article talked about their life together, “Their family? Yes, they have nine living children, 22 grandchildren, 35 great grandchildren and two great, great grandchildren.” My great grandparents both passed away before I was born, but nevertheless, I am very proud of them. The article ended with the sentence, “Seventy years, and they are still happy and grand people to know.”
I am not sure the same story would make the front page today, although it should. Seventy years. Wow! My parents celebrated 67 years of marriage this past year. It makes the 36 years Tanya and I have enjoyed seem short. The younger generations need healthy examples set for us from those who have gone ahead of us.
There was another elderly couple who had been married for over 50 years who played a game with each other over the course of their marriage. The goal of their game was to write the word “shmily” in as many surprise places as they could for the other to find. They took turns writing this word and as soon as one discovered it, it was their turn to find a spot to hide it for the other.
The story was told by a grandchild who recalled numerous places she remembers finding the word. She remembers it written in the flour container and in the sugar jar. It was once written on the glass on the window overlooking the patio where grandma served hot homemade pudding. It was written in the steam on the bathroom mirror where it would reappear bath after bath. Once grandma unrolled an entire roll of toilet paper to write “shmily” on the last sheet and then rerolled the roll to hide the word for grandpa to find.
There was no end to the locations where the word would show up. Scribbled notes with “shmily” would be found on dashboards, car seats, or taped to steering wheels. The notes were stuffed inside shoes and left under pillows. “Shmily” was written in the dust on the mantel and traced in the ashes of the fireplace. This word was as much a part of the grandparents’ house as was their furniture.
The granddaughter said it took her a long time before she could fully appreciate their game. She was skeptical about believing in true love. Her grandparents lived a life that was more than little flirtatious games from time to time, it was a consistent way of life. They were truly devoted to each other. They had love down pat.
They would kiss when they bumped into each other in their tiny kitchen. Grandma would whisper to her granddaughter how cute her grandpa was. She would brag on how she really knew “how to pick ‘em!” They bowed their heads before each meal and gave thanks for all of their blessings including a wonderful family, good fortune, and each other.
One day her grandparents’ world was turned upside down. They learned grandma had breast cancer. For ten years they fought the cancer. Grandpa was with her side by side every step of the way. He was her comfort through the difficult days. With grandpa’s help and a cane, they continued to go to church every Sunday morning. Eventually grandma was unable to leave the home. Grandpa painted a room yellow for Grandma so she would always be surrounded by sunshine.
The dreaded eventually happened and Grandma passed on. At her funeral the word “Shmily” was written in yellow on the pink ribbons of her funeral bouquet. After the funeral the crowd that attended thinned out and all that was left was Grandma’s family. They gathered around the casket and through his tears, Grandpa sang a soft lullaby.
The granddaughter shared that at that moment, she could not begin to fathom the depth of their love. She was thankful to have been able to witness the unmatched beauty of their relationship. It was truly reflected in the meaning of the word “shmily” that had been so much a part of her grandparent’s world.
See How Much I Love You!
As time passes and marriage commitments fade, I am glad we continue to have older couples who show each of us a husband/wife relationship can continue to be an exciting experience decade after decade after decade. I want to thank the elderly in long term relationships for the positive example they have set for the rest of us.
I truly get excited when I hear or read about a couple being married for 40 years, 50 years, 60 years. It represents a couple with a commitment who have communicated their way through many peaks and valleys.
My challenge to you today is to show the one you love that they are special. Do it with little things. Do it with short notes. Tell your sweetheart how much you love him or her, and do it often. Make daily memories. Share it because you mean it from your heart. Share it privately. But also share it publicly and set an example for the younger generations that will come after you.
Just a thought...
Rick Kraft is a motivational speaker, a syndicated columnist, a published author, and an attorney. To submit comments, contributions, or ideas, e-mail to rkraft@kraftlawfirm.org or write to P.O. Box 850, Roswell, New Mexico, 88202 - 0850.
