I heard a talk by author and motivational speaker John Maxwell who shared that you need to spend as much time as you can in your gift zone, using the gift set you’ve been given as often as you can. If you’re operating within your gift zone then you should be living life with confidence, knowing you’re able to bless others with the gifts programmed into you.
Once you’re on a roll within your gift zone, you should stay in your gift zone, but operate outside your comfort zone. If you’re going to meet the potential you have to impact the world, you must step outside the security of your comfort zone.
If you’re out of your gift zone and outside your comfort zone, you’re headed towards a catastrophe. If you’re operating in your gift zone and stay within your comfort zone, you’re coasting. If you’re in your gift zone and outside your comfort zone, you are growing and stretching yourself in your areas of your strengths. Who knows what you are capable of accomplishing?
So, having shared the above concepts, let me spend the rest of this column on a topic that drags us down, hinders us, and causes stress in our lives. It’s moving away from focusing on your gift set to playing the comparison game. It’s a dangerous game we are all involved in. Playing this game lowers our quality of life and creates conflict and depression.
I heard a talk by Texas pastor Robert Madu called “On Your Mark.” He spoke about each of us being at the starting line of a long race. I will summarize his message along with my interpretation below.
Are you doing the best you can to run your unique race in your lane or are you looking at others to your left and right? If you’re on life’s journey looking side to side, who are you racing? This is an important question.
Comparison is the number one destroyer of joy in a person’s life. It is like cancer to contentment. I will tell you this, there is no one to your right or left who is exactly like you. No one who has traveled the exact journey that you have. Comparison will constantly cloud the clarity that you need in your life to accomplish what only you can accomplish.
The race of your life is against yourself. Whatever speed you move, winning your race is measured individually by what you are called to do in your lane. You are not a success because you’re ahead of someone else. You are not a failure because you can’t keep up with someone else. I am tempted to repeat the last two sentences. I cannot emphasize how important it is to not measure your success by where you are in relation to others.
Your life should not be a competition against others.
There is a calling on your life. A calling that is as individual as you are. You were given gifts that people on either side of you don’t have. They were given gifts you will never have. Your challenge is to conduct your life in your calling and to do it the best you can do with your gift set. This much you can control.
Many people live their lives “out of position.” Pastor Madu says, “A career is what you get paid to do, a calling is what you are made to do.”
History is full of individuals who, because of comparison, made poor decisions that impacted the lives of others. In the Bible King Saul “crashed” because he compared himself to David. Hitler extended his kingdom claiming his people were superior to others. Open just about any history book and you will see how the comparison game has charted the course of mankind. Taking it a step further, virtually every Walt Disney story has the comparison issue somewhere in it with a positive lesson at the end.
Suffering from comparison disease, we complain and belly ache because of what we don’t have rather than being thankful and grateful for what we do have. Accept the fact that it is alright for others to excel in their lanes. Unless what you are doing helps other excel, don’t worry about any one of them. If you want to look over at them, be one who uplifts and encourages them. Add value to the lives of others in their lanes, but then get back to doing what you can with your life in your lane.
Add into this equation the development of social media and we could spend another entire column on how postings and pictures result in increased epidemics of the comparison game. Social media allows us to say to others “look at me.” Many postings become like the Cinderella fairytale question, “Mirror, mirror, on the wall.”
Mr. Madu’s advice is contained in a prayer, “God, I am going to stay in my lane and run my own race.” His challenge to himself is to be the best Robert Madu that he can be, period. Enough said.
My challenge to you is to not lose one minute of sleep or waste one minute of your waking time anxious, worrying, or depressed over comparing yourself to others. If each of us focuses on our own calling and does the best we can in the lane we are in, we will be more productive in our lives.
If we want to slow, look left and right, and question what another person is doing in his or her lane, we will fall short of running well our own one of a kind race. Pastor Madu’s wisdom leaves us all with something worth pondering, doesn’t it?
May you run your race and only your race. May you focus on what only you can do and may you score a 10 out of 10 when you measure your journey against yourself. May you not waste a minute of your life looking left or right or asking “why” questions that lead to you feeling superior or inferior to others. And may the life you live be a model to others that helps them run their race in their lane to the best of their ability.
On your mark, get set, GO! Stay in your own lane and excel.
Just a thought...
Rick Kraft is a motivational speaker, a syndicated columnist, a published author, and an attorney. To submit comments, contributions, or ideas, e-mail to rkraft@kraftlawfirm.org or write to P.O. Box 850, Roswell, New Mexico, 88202 - 0850.
