Hi Taylor – My 11-year-old son doesn’t seem interested in building good spending habits, and when I try to talk to him about money, it feels like it goes in one ear and out the other. Do you have any advice for how to actually break through? – Lauren
Hey Lauren – This is one of those parenting topics that’s tougher than it sounds, especially when kids are still far removed from real financial responsibility. At that age, money doesn’t feel urgent or important, so the goal isn’t to force good habits early, but to make money feel relevant in a way that makes sense to him.
Don’t make it about money itself. As adults, we associate money with bills, pressure, and consequences, but kids don’t have that context yet. What looks like careless spending to you may feel completely reasonable to him, so leading with lessons about responsibility usually falls flat. Instead, start with his interests. Is there something he wants to buy, a place he wants to go, or an experience he’s excited about? Once there’s a clear goal, saving starts to feel purposeful, and the conversation naturally shifts from what he’s doing wrong to how he can get where he wants to go.
Keep it playful and goal-driven. If he earns an allowance, look for small ways he can earn a little extra through simple chores or challenges, but decide ahead of time what that money is meant for. When dollars are tied to a specific goal, he begins to see progress instead of just spending for the sake of it. That connection between effort, patience, and reward tends to stick far better than lectures, especially at this stage.
Learn how he’s wired. Every kid approaches money differently, and a lot of frustration comes from assuming there’s one right way to think about it. Some kids naturally want to save, some want to spend, and some barely think about money at all. Taking the Money Personalities assessment together can help put language around how he thinks, which often makes the conversation feel less corrective and more collaborative. When kids feel understood, they’re usually more open to learning.
You’ll probably still get some resistance along the way, and that’s completely normal. Money habits with kids tend to build slowly over time, not through one big conversation. As long as you keep starting on his terms and keeping the focus practical, you’re laying a foundation that tends to pay off later.
