This is a true story, told to me long ago, by my good friend, John Cantrell. One of the funniest stories ever told! I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoy telling it...
Now, John didn’t do a whole lot of dating due to his involvement in football and his passion for track, where he was the champion in our District and State, in both the shot put and discus. He was also a little shy, thinking that girls would not want to date him. However, the truth of the matter was that the girls loved a good-looking, tall, muscled, well-groomed athlete, and any of them would have been excited to go out with him.
Wellsir, John had a crush on this girl in high school and finally got up the nerve to ask her for a date. She accepted, and he wanted to do all the right things to impress her, so after the movie at the LaNora Theater, they went to Calwell’s Drive Inn, where they saw all their friends and enjoyed a soft drink and a shared Shrimp Basket (the most expensive item on the menu). He sought to make a favorable impression on her, anticipating a positive result. Oh yeah, don’t-cha-know!
Afterward, they drove out along the Perryton Highway, a safe and popular spot where you could enjoy some “smooching” while listening to music on K-PAT, a station known for its great tunes from the 1950s. John was thinking about what a fantastic night this was turning out to be. He turned off the highway and into a nice cornfield that provided a perfect cover for their romantic escapade. They are in his folks’ new 1955 Buick Roadmaster Sedan with a new styled “stereo” radio that had speakers all around you, playing softly…think about “A String of Pearls,” by Glenn Miller.
Some of the music they had been listening to was Elvis Presley, the rock and roll sensation, playing “Are You Lonesome Tonight?” Then came “Camel Caravan” with Gene Kruper on the drums. But the following selections were Glenn Miller’s soft ones.
Things couldn’t be any better: a gorgeous date, a good movie, an impressive time at Caldwell’s, and now, well, now, enjoying an ideal time out on the Perryton Highway. Except when you start thinking this, what usually happens? That’s right---She looks at her watch and realizes she must be home by curfew time of 11:00, and it is 10:45 now! John says, “No problem,” and turns the key to start the car while she retrieves her brush and lipstick from her purse. Uh, there is no sound from the motor. Bad news, John. The battery is dead…DEAD. The fantastic stereo they enjoyed drained the battery’s charge. Oh no…what to do?
Looking around and up over the corn stalks, he saw no lights in any farmhouse, except one little light over the entrance to a home about the length of a football field away. By this time, the date is getting a little hysterical. Well, there’s nothing to do except go down that dirt road to ask the farmer if he can help. He assures his date that she will be safe while he is away and that he will return soon.
How did he get into a situation like this? He would much rather be recovering from a challenging workout on the football field!
After knocking several times at the door, it slowly opens, and a large man dressed in overalls, with only one side of his bib fastened at the shoulder, appears with a shotgun in his hand and a big dog at his side.
“Well, son, what in the Sam-hill are you doing out here this time of night!” After a brief explanation of the situation, he says, “Stay put on the porch…I’ll be back.”
It didn’t take long before John heard an engine start up in the barn, and a Model T pickup appeared around the corner of the house. “Get in and tell me where you are stuck.” After locating the car, they decided giving it a good push would get it started…which didn’t work in the cornfield. With John in the car, they used the pickup and pushed it out onto the deserted highway. The old pickup was doing an excellent job so far.
As they approached the old “Soapbox Derby Hill,” which had a nice slope, the farmer continued to push the big Buick with his little Model T. John was rehearsing his directions: “Once the speedometer reaches twenty mph, quickly release the clutch to engage the engine.” And it worked! He pops the clutch, the engine catches, and he drops the gears into 2nd, and off they go! His date is finally smiling, wiping the tears from her cheeks.
Waving to the farmer, who is now in front of the Model T and seeing him wave back…boy, is he waving big, even jumping up and down…John takes off for town! They reach her home, and without a word, she jumps out of the car and disappears…forever...through the front door, not even giving John a chance to get out of the vehicle. John says to himself, “I guess that’s the end of that courtship!” and heads for home.
As he climbed through the unlocked window into his room, he couldn’t help but chuckle at the absurdity of the night. “What an experience!” he thought, and the night was spent with restless sleep.
Early the next morning, John is awakened by his mother, who sounds very upset. “John, I want to know what happened to the rear end of my
car!” As John gets out of bed, he thinks, “Oh boy, I forgot to check the back of the Buick. I bet there are some scratches on it from the farmer’s Model T.”
When John steps outside to inspect the back, he not only finds scratches, but he sees that the entire front end of the 1925 Ford Model T is also attached to it, complete with the bumper, lights, and grill. He wonders, “I’ve jerked the entire frontend of the truck off—no wonder the farmer was jumping up and down.”
Being a quick thinker, John replied with a touch of wit, “I bet Carl attached it as a joke! I’ll take the car over to his house to get rid of that ugly thing.” And you know what? She believed him!
I asked John what happened to the front end of the pickup. Did they take it back to the farmer? He said, ‘Heck no,’ we put it behind Carl’s
garage.
Ahh h h h, those were the days…
